Everyone needs a theme song

Mine shall be Titanium by David Guetta.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE this song...the words/chorus, the fast beats/musical interludes if that's what they are called. This song is amazing for anything high energy...thinking, exercise, sex, you name it.  I can so relate to the emotions of this song as many people can I suppose.  It is a song about my life thus far.  A troubled childhood for so many reasons followed by a troubled adulthood for many more reasons.  I suppose many can relate to that too.  (Random thought: I think Daenerys Targaryen's theme song would be something like Titanium...can't wait until 4/6) 

Okay, so I have been a slack-ass.  Far too busy to not be working and not giving enough time to my thoughts and my transition.  I am a thinker...I think too much or so I've heard.  I know that many people don't give this shit a second thought.  Yet, I have put much time and effort into figuring out who I am, why I am the way I am or was and the next steps necessary to be the me I need/want to be.  

So it occurred to me that I have been an emotional eater throughout my life.  At some times I have been in control of this and other times I have not.  This is not purely a psychological phenomenon. There is the physiological aspect of it that is difficult to control.  I am not quite sure of the psychological dynamic...is it that I have an oral fixation?  I do!  It cannot be denied.  I once smoked. I like to eat. I stick my fingers in my mouth often. I just love things in my mouth!!  Err, yeah, that too.  But also I go to food when I am sad, angry, upset, bored.  You name it.  I have a negative emotion I go to food to comfort me.  So which is it?  Perhaps a combination of both. 

Now add to that the chemical/hormonal responses that occurs in the brain when we eat comfort foods...endogenous opioids and dopamine are released and BOY, do I love pleasure!  Then there is the inter-relationship between cortisol, ghrelin, insulin and other hormones.  The physiological aspect is even harder to get a firm grasp on and control.  I am especially sensitive to addictive substances...both physiologically and psychologically.  It's a fight to control all of this but a fight I am not willing to lose.  This is but one of the reasons Titanium is my theme song.